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Secondary Loss

I am currently enrolled in a course run by Shelby Forsythia, called Life after Loss. The lesson today was about the Secondary Losses we experience following the loss of a loved one. And it got me thinking. It’s a topic that is not really talked about as such, but we all experience it, the impact that secondary losses have on our life and relationships following a pet death. For example, Opie and I used to spend many Saturday mornings at Masterclass, a dog agility group. The friends (both human and dog) that we both made, disappeared when we stopped going. The people that you run into at the dog park, on your daily walks, at the Vet, the groomer, the house sitter, staff at the pet shop, at the pet cafe, neighbours, the rabbit club... the relationships with these people change or simply vanish because you don’t have that common thread anymore. And if you do still keep in touch with these people, often they are not sure what to say, may feel guilty about bringing their happy pet up to you for a cuddle, but I am certain they feel empathy for what you have lost. These Secondary losses could be a reason of why it is so hard to move forward, because we are grieving more than the loss of a loved pet, we have also lost part of our identity, of who we used to be. A pet death changes who we are, who we were. Let me know your thoughts below 💖

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