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Ambiguous Grief

My cat Tortoise (yes, my husband named her because of her colouring) didn’t come home last night.

My three cats are allowed out during the day and have a cat enclosure to sleep in at night.

Out of the three, tortoise is the most free spirited, doesn’t like being told what to do.

I have bought many collars for her over the years, she always gets them off.

She is microchipped and not malnourished!!


As a cat mum, of course I worry for her. Is she locked in a shed somewhere? Has she been trapped for galavanting around at night? She is pretty street smart, but what if she has been hit by a car?

The not knowing and making up stories in your head can make you go crazy.


I have had to make peace with this before, I have given her the best life a cat could possibly have. If she is able to come home she will. Because of her free spirit nature, I know she is not thinking of consequences.

She lives in the now.


Ambiguous Grief can also be experienced if you have recently had to rehome a pet, or your living arangements or circumstances may have changed. You have had to move house and cant take your beloved pet with you, whether that be interstate, overseas, or locally with the current rental crisis.


It may be a relationship break up and you are no longer allowed to see your pet - as they are living with your ex partner or family member. The pet is not "unalive" but you no longer have access to frequently visit and embrace them.


Ambiguous Grief can be tricky - for some they feel conflicted because they are happy that the pet is still living a lovely life - albeit without you, but also sad and upset that they can no longer enjoy the relationship they once had. Please know there is a word for what you are experiencing. It is definitely not easy! This type of Grief is Valid xx



Naughty Tortie - Tortoise

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