Grief Myth - Be Strong
The Grief Recovery Method's sixth Myth of grief has always puzzled me.
"Try and Be Strong" or "You have to Be Strong for (insert name here)"
It is unfair to expect a grieving person to put on a brave face and pretend that life is fantastic.
Your special loved one has just died... and who are you being strong for anyway?
For too long we have been conditioned to act "Fine" or "OK" when others ask how we are doing... My heart has just been ripped out, but you know, I'm fine! Thanks for checking on me.
I'm sure you can relate to something in your childhood where you were told to "Be strong" for other people. Don't let them see you upset. Act Brave! #SorryNotSorry... I call bollocks on that! What is the point of hiding your feelings? Does that not add to the pain you are already going through?
I think (and this is just my opinion) that it is healthy for a child to see their parents upset and openly crying and grieving over a pet that they loved dearly. I think its lovely to share your honest feelings with another and say, Yes! Mummy is upset because Bella was Mummy's first baby before you were born, so I am allowed to be sad for a while.
We are allowed to be human, and humans should not have to feel ashamed about expressing their true feelings to others around them who love them. And "Not Being Strong" doesn't mean you are weak! It simply means you are feeling the full range of emotions that come with loving something so damn much that you can no longer have.
Be kind to yourself and be honest with your feelings
Sending you hugs xx