Grief Myths - Keeping Busy
Life after loss is very challenging.
You think about it... your routine goes out the window.
A typical morning was, you wake up... cat in face, wanting to be fed and craving attention. You pat them, get up and feed them, make yourself a coffee, get ready for work... and there she is, rubbing against your legs after you have gotten out of the shower.
You get home from work, and you used to take your dog for a walk to the park... you go to grab the lead, only to realise, they are no longer there. Then memories flood in of the last time you went for a walk together.
It's SO Hard!!
It is only natural to want to distract yourself by Keeping Busy - and doing other activities when you would have spent that time with your pet.
It is OK to do this, as long as it is not becoming unhealthy, ie Over or Under doing things, like sleep, eating, working, shopping, using Alcohol or other drugs as a coping tool, using Social Media, or exercising.
Many people have worked themselves into exhaustion trying to stay busy to avoid feeling the pain of the loss that affects them.
I have heard suggestions from well meaning people; try volunteering at an animal shelter or sanctuary. Although this is a wonderful idea, it tends to be a short term distraction, and many feel sad and upset when they get home because they can't spend time with their pets.
Keeping Busy does have an upside, It can be another name for Self care. It can be a way to recover from the grieving and the sadness. And as discussed in previous blogs, Self care doesn't necessarily have to mean Meditation and Herbal Teas... Finding anywhere between 5 or 60 minutes to do something YOU really love to do.
On a side note, My Mum continued to do her daily walk after Jake, her 16 year old Jack Russell Terrier died. She did find it Challenging at first, she bends down and says Hi to the other dogs she encounters on her walk and will have a short chat with their parents.
Mum said she missed keeping active (she is 71 years young!) if she didn't go for her walk around the block. Its 30 minutes she spends on herself, getting out in the fresh air and remembering every tree Jake used to stop at and pee on! Happy and Funny Memories...